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Sunday, 25 November 2012

We make art to transcend the commercial and corrupt world we find ourselves in - this is why we do things for free - money really is the root of all evil.

If you give your work for free, you release yourself: you are no longer a worker - you are an artist.

“Touching Wood” published

After years of writing, and years of finding a satisfactory distributor, elementary books, publishes alan neilson’s debut novel “Touching Wood”.

You can download the eBook from Amazon’s Kindle store here.

Reviews have already been glowing:

“Touching Wood is a window, smeared with the greasy paw-marks of childhood, into a grimy, bitter-sweet world. It's witty, gritty and is very difficult to put down. The pages, though virtual, are smeared with jam and dirt. Wonderful words.”

Mr M McKensie

“Growing up in the 70s/80s told like it is through the eyes of a gaggle of small boys. Touching Wood is an endearing portrayal of the strange logic, rules and loyalties that govern the relationships and lives of boys becoming men. Funny, touching and a brilliant a read, I was hooked within the first few pages. In pre kindle days, this would be one to attempt to read under the covers with the aid of a torch .. in manner of a small boy! Can highly recommend.”

Dr J Stapleton

Lana Del Ray

There is an artist who is currently stirring up the music and celebrity media into a froth to publicise her forthcoming album. I will not name the individual, so as not to add weight to her marketing machine, but those in the know, will know exactly who this person is.

What I find fascinating about this person, and the media’s perception of them, is that her entire back story is a lie.

Again we have the leaked stories about how she ‘just uploaded a song onto Youtube and within a week a million people loved it so much, they viewed it’ - the headlines were something in the order of ‘Internet Overnight Sensation’, or the like. Even though it is completely obvious to anyone with even a tiny bit of intelligence that this never happens by accident, the national press still quote this occurrence in their articles as justification for writing the article. It is widely known that Youtube ‘hits’ and Twitter/FB ‘friends’, ‘followers’ & ‘likes’, are all created by the artist’s publicity team, to make it look as if there is a sensation. It happens all the time, not just in the music business, but also in the advertising campaigns of normal everyday household products - a buzz created to make something dull look talked about and consequently worth talking about. Of course this type of advertising is not available to all; only to those with a lot of money.

So here we find our emerging artist, an innocent miss from a trailer park - apparently. Who has just astounded millions of eye and earballs. Despite millions of videos and songs on the internet, millions of souls have found this very video on Youtube and liked it.... come on, let’s look more closely at the back story of this trailer girl... oh there you go, she did live in a trailer park for a year whilst writing songs for this new album. She was studying in a New York University, living in Brooklyn... getting produced by a world famous producer... made an album that no one liked... it was released, didn’t sell and then was deleted... she disappeared and returned with new face and tits... and now the marketing machine really kicks in and she is everywhere: TV, magazines, newspaper, internet news, album reviews, blog, tweets... hmmm. Something does not add up.

The missing piece of the puzzle is this: her dad is a multi-millionaire property investor. Now I get it. Money.. money paid for all this to happen. Money paid a team to make and construct this pop star.

The thing is though, despite the manufacturing process, and the bulldozer marketing, there is a songwriter and performer underneath the silicone and trout-pout. But how do we as ‘elementary’ artists believe in an artist like this? She produces songs that have an appearance of being genuine and she sings as if her heart is really breaking; but how do you relate to a writer from such a privileged position in society? Does she really understand and feel the things she is saying, or like her marketing campaign, is it all just one big lie? She sings “Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough” (Born To Die); I don’t for one minute believe she has ever known a tough road (and I mean a really tough road, not a bad day in the recording studio), and if she ever walked along one, it was to see what it felt like before stepping back into a limousine... not really the same thing. Compare this to neilson’s: “Sometimes it seems this road we’re running on just gets longer and longer” (Harry, Lyn & Me) and see which performance is the more believable.

I suppose you may think this is all sour grapes and another no hoper whining about how unfair it all is and how it is the hardest game in the world, forty years man and boy etc. And I suppose it is, but the point of the article is this, when you are not working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at a menial job, you tend to have a bit of extra time for crafting songs. When doors are opened for you instead of closed in your face, you are more likely to have enough self-worth to keep going despite inner demons. When millions of dollars are spent advertising your new album, how can you fail... so is it about the music, or is it about the money?

So the album is released on Monday, and I bet now that it will be front page of all the download stores - it will be pride of place; she will probably be a guest on one of the chat shows or magazine programmes aired that week; she will have reviews in all the main papers; her product will be placed for all to see; placed there by money. And you have to ask yourself a question, is this very expensive fake worth your attention?

By the way, I do like Born To Die and on first listen I was intrigued. My interest was just soured when I learned the truth. Part of me wishes I was as ignorant as the average man; gloriously happy in my idiocy.

So after my earlier blog and predictions, let us see what happened:

Yes, the album of the week on Amazon download store is Born To Die by Lana Del Rey. Selling during this first week for just £4.99 (a pound more than the usual album of the week, which is odd, clearly they don’t want to give it away). There are a few reviews, mainly 5 star, but one 2 star.

iTunes store also, she is the first album on the main page as well as the scrolling main advert. Although no reductions here, there is the deluxe edition for a little extra money. Already there are almost 200 rating/reviews of the album all with 4 or 5 stars. 200! If that doesn’t scream fake/paid for reviews I don’t know what does (compare this with say, Charlotte Gainsburg’s new album - no reviews, even though she too is on iTunes front page). Actually, there is a distinct lack of big name releases today as if the sea has been parted just for Lana to walk through without any distractions.

There are also a number of high profile papers where this album was a recent review.

Okay, so the PR team and marketing did their job right. Congratulations.

And I too get a prize for stating the bleeding obvious. And you are probably thinking, ‘Why is this blog obsessed with the release of a pop album, when it is a million miles away from everything this site is connected with?’

You’re right of course, this has nothing to do with us and doesn’t effect anything we do. I was just interested in how these success stories begin and wanted to trace some kind of line from where it was, to where it is now and I will follow it to where it goes. Clearly, Lana’s team want her to follow in Gaga’s footsteps, or more ideally Madonna’s. Because the thing all these artist’s have in common is an arguable talent with a mass of hype to back it up... I was interested to see in this www world how the PR team manages to sell this new product. It is fascinating, because it appears viral at first glance, but then you realise how much of it is constructed.

Skirting the blogosphere today, there have been forums full of angry people talking about this release and whether it matters if popstars are real or constructed, and whether it is ok to like manufactured pop. I believe it is, I just prefer it when everyone is honest about who they are - don’t be ashamed if you are a rich girl. Just don’t pretend to be something other than that.

Some of the better constructed discussions are below, reproduced word for word. Unfortunately I can’t credit the writers as they are anon, however, I assure you these are NOT my words:

“by Brononymous (not verified) | Wed, 2012-01-18 08:56

I don't think most people realize the amount of money that goes into

music publicity... In order to even GET in pitchfork, you have to have

a publicist constantly in your corner... unless of course you become a

youtube sensation and get so much of a crowd that people flock to you,

and the writer hears about you. Most of the publicists charge by the

month, a retainer fee that is probably equal to what a musician makes

in a month. Therefore, it is virtually impossible for true indie

musicians to compete with what's out there in Pitchfork.

I have music journalist friends who are ASSIGNED who they write about,

couldn't even write about who they chose if they wanted, and - oh,

guess what? Those assignments are often based on PR connections, or,

labels who advertise in the magazines/ sites.

The flooded market is to blame, as, just like in high school, the kids

with money are the kids the with the advantage.

Sad but true, and why musicians who are talented, but maybe less

fortunate, need pioneers to keep looking out for them, keep going to

shows that maybe AREN'T the hot picks for the week, and to keep having

an open mind...

But there's not room for that, cause everyone is taking up bitspace

with Lana Del Ray, cause... everyone prefers a controversy over

talent. Britney Spears syndrome wins again, meanwhile, hundreds of

awesome bands you'll never hear of play in small rooms to 20 people,

and eventually give up the hope of every getting to the next level,

cause they can't afford the PR.”

“by Brononymous (not verified) | Wed, 2012-01-18 12:22

Those bands playing to 20 people are the unborn child sperm of music.

It's not murder when they don't make it because they aren't even born

yet until they get enough $ for PR and some blogger/label latches on

to them. Just the way things are. No reason to cry of spilt 'milk.'

Most people don't realize that all the bands they hear of, with a few

exceptions, they hear of because of those bands have budget for PR...

and sometimes good PR can cost as much as a musician might make a

month, if not more!

It's sad but true, and the reason that many talented bands will

continue to go unheard... because the LDR controversy, is just as

exciting to the American audience as the Britney Spears

head-shaving...

Our attention span is too short and in need of too much sensation to

reward those with talent... we'd rather have the drama. Meanwhile,

hundred of awesome more talented bands will go on playing to 20

people, and you'll never know about them, cause the blog space is

being taken up by bands with bigger budgets, or bigger boobs.”

“by Brononymous (not verified) | Wed, 2012-01-18 13:56

It is delusional for someone to sit there and think that they can lord

over the musical audience of listeners worldwide and proclaim who is

worthy of notoriety or attention musically.

It is delusional to think that you can critique a particular sound to

the point where it is somehow silenced. It is delusional to think that

YOUR way of hearing music should be how EVERYONE hears music.

It is delusional that someone has the nerve to think that they are

better than everyone's own tastes in music enough to warrant writing a

blog about how much they hate someone's art/music/whatever.”

I am listening to the deluxe album now (no I didn’t buy it; “I am only a poor, corrupt official” and she can afford it, not that I generally agree with file sharing, but this time I am professionally writing about the album for a review site, so it is not stealing). The title track is like a song lifted straight out of Lynch’s “Wild At Heart” - it feels vast and her voice is gorgeously vintage. The un-pop chorus lyric should have no place in pop music as it is bitterly negative, not even disguised with a bouncy melody, and this is what grabbed me when I first heard it on the radio (I had no idea of the story of LDR at that point so was not corrupted by my now complete knowledge). But I am an oddball; songs with death in the title are the holy grail for me “you should know this about me if we’re going to go out”. So I thought to myself that it is a great song, but no one else will like it, it is about dying. But we shall see.

Anyway, the rest of the album is very hit and miss. The production (except on the real slow tracks like Video Games, Blue Jeans, Born To Die) is aimed unashamedly at the pop/RnB market and sounds like a million other songs made this decade: big bass drums and splatty snare drums. LDR’s voice is sometimes sultry, sometimes gloriously not of this age, but most of the time it just sounds like the awful Sophie Ellis-Bextor, a kind of spoken/sung, public school/finishing school clipped accent/ no accent kind of a voice that you just want to unplug. It sounds affected for a lot of the songs, which kind of makes the tracks where it works seem less impressive, as if she could only nail a great vocal for a few hours and after that it was shit as usual, or the good takes were just lucky mistakes.

It is interesting to have heard early versions of “Diet Mountain Dew”, “Lolita”, “National Anthem” and “This Is What Makes Us Girls” that had much bigger balls before, and the album versions are poor in comparison: ‘Girls’ and ‘Lolita’ have for some inexplicable reason been slowed to almost half their original speed and lost all their bounce. They were great pop songs before; seems to me the producers kept turning up the vintage/authentic/soulful plug in on their Pro Tools set up, forgetting that this needs to be captured at source, not added after. Conversely, “DMD” is pumped up on the album, but the laid back slower early version beats it hands down.

So as usual with many artists now, there is a stand out track that sells the album, and the rest are standing in its shadow. I guess this is the reason for the extra hype: “if we keep saying it is worthy of praise, no one will notice”. But to be honest I really have heard a lot worse (Adele, Florence, Paloma, Amy) all of whom are guilty of having one listenable song and little else to shout about.

So, as expected, this chapter ends like a deflated balloon: the response to the release not creating anywhere near enough hot air to spark continued attention. The fact that must be remembered is that the pop business is about returns, it is not about quality. In such a subjective arena none of us are wrong... it has taken 4 decades for me to start to accept this and a few ulcers to make it sink home.

Long live pop... just don’t move in next door - I like you, I just don’t want to see you every day.

The Original See You Next Thursday Blog

unplug the middle classes

The Creative Underground Nurturing Talent owns nothing.. the artists own everything. This is a working class ideal first uttered in about 1978 by the founders of Factory; since then everything has become fucked up, utterly. The middle classes suddenly understood that they could exploit the working class music scene again (like they did in the early sixties, a mod scene which turned to pop and then to hippy shit and downward to progressive rock shit; appallingly bad middle class music, made by the middle classes for the middle classes, but choking the life out of the rest of the country). In 1976 what started out as a revolution in the British music scene turned into another money spinner for the cunts in suits; no longer was it about music, it was about money... ever get the feeling you've been cheated? The Creative Underground Nurturing Talent is not a revolution, we just make music we all like. It is not a scene or a movement, we are just normal people and we want to share our music with other normal people. This is all freely available for download. Use it and keep it moving. Pass it on. The plan is the more music we make at ground level, the less we will need to listen to the shit that is piped into our homes. Turn off the radio; turn off the TV; destroy all magazines... keep your ear to the ground and listen... make up your own mind... don't listen to cunts in suits because they do not care about anything accept the money in your pocket. If you don't give your money freely, they will wither and die because they have nothing to contribute to our lives. They are poison. Now I repeat, this music is yours to share. The Creative Underground Nurturing Talent own nothing. The artists are you, the people... the music is yours to use as you see fit. If you don't like the music, make your fucking own. Be a C.U.n.t. not a cunt.

This is a painting by Darren Williams in the late Autumn/early winter of 1994. He was able, quite dramatically, to capture the intense pain and anger we all feel sometimes, when we are left helpless and hopelessly impotent.

This is a painting by J.Lee Danby from 1995. It is a visualisation of sleep paralysis, which was something he had suffered from at the time. I too, by some strange coincidence suffered from the same condition. Thankfully, I have not had any repeat of this terrifying sleep disorder.

get naked. Show the cunts of the world that we are not afraid to show our flabby bits and we will not buy into their idea of perfection. The human body is perfect because it comes in many shapes and sizes. DO NOT buy into their diets.. you can do it for nothing by eating less and walking around a bit. DO NOT buy their magazines that create the myth that you are less than perfect as their idea of what you should be will only help sell their product, it will not make you feel a better person (you have to do that yourself, but that part is at least free). DO make up your own mind. DO think for yourself. DO not leave yourself in a position where you cannot live without things... people, yes... things, NO... possessions will not make you feel better, but people, real people can. DO read more books.. we are becoming a magazine culture and our attention spans are diminishing by the day. DO watch LESS television.. there really are better things we can do with our time than watch adverts. DO take care of yourself and your loved ones.. supporting each other means we will rely less on the media and more of each other. Lesson over, now get your clothes off.

press to go down by a neilson

allow the artist to take you on an emotional journey, but never be manipulated.. that is the work of the multi-national (and while you are at your most vulnerable he will have his hand in your pocket looking for your wages).

don't wallow in self-pity.. yes enjoy it, but don't stay down there for days on end. the artist will move you from the depths of despair to the heights of joyous abandon (if they are good enough).

elementary ARCHive

"Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in."

"Success is a consequence and must not be a goal."

GUSTAVE FLAUBERT

This is the place where you will find up to date news of all things elementary:

Jo Staples passes the time for elementary recordings

After months of hard work and sweat, Jo Staples' contribution to the "Soliloquy' project is complete. Her stunningly positive words, set to music by alan neilson can be heard on our homepage and their own page. Please let us know what you think via the contact page; we love it when you talk to us.

There are still more tracks waiting to be completed, so the album is a little way off release yet - we will as always keep you informed.

30 Aug 2011

Advice for those seeking fame

Our partners in digital distribution (Routenote), published an article recently about the investment major record labels make in both new artists and their already established stars. It makes for startling reading and moreover shows what an uphill battle anyone making music independently has. You can find the article here or just read on, as I have used their information below:

(information from IFPI, monetary values in American dollars)

1st example is a new artist/band:

Advance: $200,000

Recording: $200,000

3 Videos: $200,000

Tour support: $100,000

Promotion/marketing: $300,000

TOTAL: $1,000,000

2nd example is an established artist/band:

Advance: $1,500,000

Recording: $400,000

3 Videos: $450,000

Promotion/marketing: $2,300,000

TOTAL: $4,650,000

What I find astonishing in the 2nd example is that more money is invested in the promotion than the recording and writing process (as the advance is presumably the money the artist needs to live on whilst composing!) In fact there is only $50,000 difference between making the entire actual product and the advertising of it.

Continue reading Advice for those seeking fame

16 Aug 2011

Friends make beautiful music

The Mekano Set's Milk has joined forces with Mr Sub-Bass himself, Ade Bordicott, to release 3 eps under the heading Stray Dog City.

Spitemask

Ziff

Dabeno

are all available via Bandcamp for reasonable amounts of funds. Although they have only dubious connections with us here at elementary, we love them very much and urge you to do the same. Go HERE now.

6 Jul 2011

bear_bare Special Edition released

The 2011 Special Edition of alan neilson's album "bear_bare" is released June 6th on Bandcamp.

The new release features an extra free track, the full band version of "Birthday" and a 20 page PDF booklet featuring all the lyrics and chords, as well as photographs never seen before.

Click on the link below to buy.

elementary recordings was sad to learn of the passing of the mighty Gil Scott Heron this weekend. I was lucky enough to see Gil live in 1997 at Ronnie Scotts in Birmingham (having been unable to see him in 1990 despite having tickets for his Hummingbird gig, as he was refused entry to the UK for being in possession that day and the gig was cancelled). He has left a body of work which if you haven't heard any of it, I implore you to. He was a stunning writer and performer, with an individual talent and a fascinating way of looking at the world: start off with "H2OGate Blues". We miss him massively already.

31 May 2011

The Mekano Set

The Mekano Set have released their 2nd ep "Glass Keys".

It is available from all the usual download stores. Please show your support by clicking here:

In other news our very own Alan Neilson joined the Matthew Jones Choir for a charity concert at the Albert Hall on 5 May 2011, celebrating the music of Dusty Springfield.

The concert featured performances by Boy George, Hazel O'Connor, Carol Decker, Kenny Lynch, Lucie Silvas (pictured above), Leee John, Shelby Lynne, Rick Astley and Mica Paris.

9 May 2011

42 Years of Hunger

So here we go around the sun for another year; heartening to know then that according to Dr Brian Cox, we are actually a part of that boiling globe of gases. For a minute there I thought I was insignificant.

Mr Eg White always inspires me for another spin anyway, and although you are probably sick of me saying it, please listen to Eg and Alice's only album, it is really really very good.

With regards to elementary news, I have to say that I have spent the last 5 months emailing all sorts of wonderful people asking for assistance with the Soliloquy project, with little in the way of responses (yes I can get right to them). Obviously the wonderful Dan Laidler contacted us and provided glorious words, and a couple of others spent a bit of time saying sorry they couldn't do it; but for the most part there was nothing but silence. How rude. It is a fact that the more famous you are, the less you actually have to do to be a human being. I guess though it is always to do with furthering careers and never about art: we are very small and insignificant here, but we are actually made of the same stuff... we are stardust.

Continue reading 42 Years of Hunger

18 Mar 2011

Twenty eleven

To start this new decade we have the pleasure of announcing a stunning new collaboration between alan neilson and the legendary lead singer of the post-punk garage band Tiger, Mr Daniel Laidler himself.

Dan has graciously supplied Alan with his spoken word monologue for the Soliloquy project, due out in the summer. The track "Paris" can be found here and is a stunning marriage of Dan's wildest imagination and Alan's musical vision. It is funny, charming, melancholy and altogether an emotional rollercoaster.

I will now state for the record that it has been an honour working with Dan and a dream come true. Thanks again Mr L.

Please show your support by visiting and enjoying his site:

Dan Laidler

29 Jan 2011

More music.. more wonderful music

For all you Mek heads out there itching to get hold of their new ep The Maastricht Circle, wait no longer. It is available right now on Spotify and iTunes and direct from the band. Go here for all the info.

The Maastricht Circle ep

alan neilson's collaboration album Soliloquy gathers speed as he records a new version of his brother's 1982 classic of the same name. Go here to listen, track 3:

Soliloquy

alan also amazed fans by coming out of retirement to play at Miles Perhower's Shabby Scene night at the famous Mitre pub in Stourbridge.

He played four songs: Tense Universal Headache, Lines, Anarchy in the UK and Birthday, all electric and fully plugged in.

Also playing that night were the awesome Bearshark, The Gruber, Bukata and Miss Halliwell. Thanks to those that braved sub-zero temperatures to be there.

7 Dec 2010

Is I Cinema on Amazon

The debut EP by Is I Cinema will be released on Amazon on 14 December 2010, on elementary recordings.

If you can't walk up to the band and ask them for a physical CD, or can't wait long enough to email me and ask them to send you a CD, click on the link below and listen now. Then come back on 14-12-10 and buy.

Debut EP - Is I Cinema, You Are Physics

BUY IT 14-12-10.

19 Nov 2010

Miles Perhower and his brother, and Is I Cinema

Alan Neilson and Miles Perhower of Miss Halliwell have collaborated on the track "My Brother Niall". Listen here:

For your ears

It has already been described by members of the Observer as the "possible result of the offspring of William Burroughs and Gavin Bryars, if they were to be trapped in a lift for a 15 hour period".

Dr Jo Stapleton (doctor of musicology) said: "Harmonically it's great. Love the angular nature of your melodies" and of neilson: "your most interesting stuff musically - I can hear you pushing yourself harmonically".

The NME mumbled: "It sounds gay" - praise enough for us.

The BBC have still yet to reply to any of our emails, but I suppose they are far to busy making quality dance and business related programs to listen to their license fee payers.

On a different note, Is I Cinema put pen to paper and have joined elementary recordings. Their debut 4 track ep "Is I Cinema, You Are Physics" will be out in time for Christmas.

I will state for the record here that we have been chasing Is I Cinema for over a year and fought off strong competition from bigger and richer record companies. I am proud and touched that they have chosen us. Welcome to E.REX.

9 Nov 2010

The Cee You En Tee

In case it has escaped your notice, the Creative Underground website has had a facelift and name change, care of virginmedia site management. I am happy to say that we have managed to have Cunt and Virginmedia in the same URL now, which is some small victory despite most people either not noticing or not understanding: Richard Branson is a bearded div I think MPH said once... how very apt.

Anyhow here is the new place:

C U N T

Don't know why the URL is there twice. I probably did something wrong as usual. Let me know what you think about that here.

Good news for Is I Cinema fans. They are currently in talks with us about possibly releasing some of their stunning music. Watch this site for updates soon.

Also of great excitement is the collaboration between MPH and alan neilson of a new wunder track, My Brother Niall. Words and delivery by MPH, sounds etc by neilson.

The Mekano Set are also close to releasing a 5 track ep. Final ear work is underway now.

Winter is approaching so get out your balaclavas.

21 Oct 2010

Summer into winter

So we are now approaching winter and after a summer of grey skies and wet weekends, we take stock of our lives. We have been overwhelmed by the support from our followers, and words of kindness and physical hugs are what makes this all worthwhile, because as a business we are really shit. But we are artists first, revolutionaries second and then a long way down the list of talents is business people.

No regrets.

Up and coming excitement is The Mekano Set's new EP; Ali Shaw vs alan_neilson's EP and a new album by wunderlich music. These to be unveiled during the winter months of 2010 when the nights are darker and you always need to wear a coat. Coats are great though aren't they? Always a pocket to keep your portable cassette player and sweets.

Remember to keep up with all bands here, they are playing in your area every day if you want them to. Physically they are also playing live in actual venues, so check their links for exact information.

elementary recordings is proud to be associated with them all. You should to.

13 Sep 2010

Where are we now..? Ah yes, right here, where we always are.

It has been a busy year so far. So busy in fact that some of the pages here have been a little neglected.

We are happy to reveal that Caps is soon to be releasing his second full-length album "Star to Star", which by all accounts is spell-binding.

The Mekano Set is having a slight reshuffle of members and having heard their new track Hahaharem the new Set are stronger than ever.

CRackerdog created there first 8mm movie on a cold wet morning on Beachy Head. It made everything look perfect:

Miss Halliwell and Barry's Attic are gigging around the Midlands constantly, so catch them somewhere.

Boat To Row have severed some ties with us and are choosing to release their next bag of hits with Danger! Lazer! Phaser! Razor , which is fine and he knows he is also welcome back to our fold. We do not hold grudges and remember we don't "want the 2 dollars back, just him".

neilson is trying to set up a collaboration with Ali Shaw.

And we are still hoping Is I Cinema will feel confident enough to hold our hands, because we love them and wish them all the best, even if that cock Ben Calvert can't see how good they are.

1 May 2010

Hello and goodbye

Firstly we here at elementary would like to pass on our heartfelt condolences to Chris Sievey's family, after he died suddenly last week. He has been an influence on everything I have done and it is a sad loss to the world of real artists. Even though he died relatively unknown in the greater scheme of things, those in the know are fully aware of his genius and he will be sadly missed.... goodbye Frank and Little Frank, and thank you.

Secondly, we can positively confirm that our elementary artists are available for download on Amazon. You can search for each artist by name or go to this link:

E.REX on Amazon

Caps' new album 'Star to Star' is on there now, and available to buy from 19 July 2010. Make a note in your diaries, or whatever equivalent gadget you young people now use.

1 May 2010

elementary recordings is now being hosted by a different company and we are now using web design software to enable music and video to be streamed direct from the site. It is still early days and we are learning, but we hope you are enjoying the ride with us. The Archive is everything written prior to the changeover. There was a lot of hyperlinks on those entries that now will not work, but I think the new site is much easier to navigate round anyway.

But if you need to ask about anything just email us via the contact us box opposite and I will answer all questions.

30 Jan 2010

12 January 2010

alan neilson has produced the video for "The Long-term Forecast"

Go to the elementary images site on YooToob and there you will find neilson's video, inspired by the recent snowfall across the UK and the weather presenters that so knowedgeably advise us to stay at home. There are some stunning images of neilson playing guitar in the snow, plus some great shots of Claire Nasir. Click here to see it.

5 January 2010

Elementary Recordings' now has its own Guestbook

After a week of activity we thought it sensible to have a place where you can leave your thoughts about what we do here. Go to the Guestbook and say whatever your like.

4 January 2010

CrackerDog have now unveiled "Buoy"

The CrackerDog Film Production team have now completed the digitizing of "Buoy" and it is now available to watch on the elementary images site. Go there now... hang on, just read this first... The uploaded version is in 2 parts due to the 10 minute confines of the site.. I actually think it is better in 2 parts. I believe they were looking to do a trilogy but changed their minds as only merchandisers profit from that kind of shit. Okay you can now:

elementary images: Buoy Pt 1 by CrackerDog

Buoy Pt II by CrackerDog

2 January 2010

CrackerDog is alive and well

Well, Happy New Year first of all and welcome to the 2nd decade of the 21st C. We can now say without fear of any bullshit, that we have been around E.REXing for all our worth in 2 decades. elementary recordings are proud to announce an addition to our family. The CrackerDog Film Production team who are about to embark into the world of 8mm film, are also re-dux-ing their short film "Buoy". Visit their page for more info and visit the links to watch some samples.

28 December 2009

"Life Gets Tedious?" music video is online. Minnie Allen's song finally gets the video it deserves, rich with uplifting images of life in all its glory. Visit the elementary films YouTube site to enjoy it:

Life Gets Tedious? Video

9 December 2009

alan neilson's "Harry, Lyn & Me" comes in as a worthy contender in Overplay's musician/song of the year award.

That's like a horse race when, although not placed, neilson was a bloody good runner... you know, he finished the race and didn't fall over. Anyway the song was described like this: "This West Coast concoction ripples with piano, 12-string and tales of lost potential. The vocal bristles with all the best bits of Bob Seger or Don Henley, while the elegantly sun-soaked vibe pulls you deeper into the shimmering ocean." Never has he been described like that before. An honour to stand shoulder to shoulder with Don Henley, unless like the Dude you "fuckin hate the Eagles" and prefer a bit of Creedence. I love Creedence, but do have a soft spot for Henley (his "End of the Innocence" album is a wonder). I suppose it is quite funny to have a West Coast sound when you come from the West Midlands, and have a sun-soaked vibe, when it has done nothing but rain for fuckin months. Thanks for that though Overplay, we salute you.

24 November 2009

The film "Tales of a Black Country": post-production begins

After a year away from the documentary that was filmed during the summer of 2008 (due to commitments with the great Miss Halliwell on Die Son Die), editing has now started on the documentary 'Tales of a Black Country'.

It features the music of The Singles Club, Telegramme, Mr Bones & the Dreamers, Caps, Timothy Parkes, Miss Halliwell, Chevron, The Arcadian Kicks and alan neilson. With rare interviews, rehearsals and live performances by the bands. It will provide an insight into the Black Country, a place without defined borders, where music and art meet with industry and unemployment. An area of Britain too often ignored... but no longer.

Watch this space for updates on how the editing is progressing.

13 November 2009

Advice for young writers:

When you write something and give it to someone else to evaluate, if you are told it is not good enough, write something better.

It is easy to take criticism as a fault of the reader, that they don't 'get' your work. You can end up in a viscious cycle of giving out your work, getting bad reviews, blaming the reviewer, sending out the same work, getting bad reviews, blame the reviewer.

Stop it.

Learn from what you have created and move on; re-read your work. If you can't do any better then chances are, you are really not that good.

If you write more and receive more criticism, keep writing. One day you will have two things: a mass of work, and a plotted history of how you got where you are today. This is very important because it proves that you never gave up, and probably that work number 1 is not as good as work number 1000. You will see your progression and your improvement. This is your life lesson and it is something you taught yourself... if you still are a struggling unknown, consider the lesson you have given yourself your prize. Consider also that you really are a writer.

If you gave up at number 1, you are not a writer and were certainly not good enough.

Success is the point at which you creat something that speaks to someone else, even if that is just one person. Feel happy with what you have made, because no-one in the world could have done it but you. Never judge your own success in terms of who 'makes it', their work is no better than yours, it just landed on the right desk... a desk owned by someone with no real idea of what is good or bad, just what can sell.

If you only write to sell, you are not a writer, you are a salesman. This is fine as long as you are honest with yourself about your true intentions.

Now write something good.

6 November 2009

CAPS album The Avenger NOW OUT ON iTunes

After 2 mini-albums already this year, Caps is back with a full-length album. No sign of tiring, this album is better, brighter and more eclectic. Dub, mixed with pop and electro/indie, this is glorious - it even has a song specially 'written' by Ray Davies (Criminal), Caps is moving with the stars already. Great songs, under produced, are a breath of fresh air in this sterile world we now live in. Get it written, get it recorded, get it out there... this is a diamond in the rough, where everything else on the radio is turds being polished. Don't listen to anything else... this will warm you through the winter.

Buy it now.

You can also visit a record shop in Wolverhampton too, or order from us here by clicking on contact us and we will do the bizness. Just ask and we will do whatever it takes.

12 October 2009

And where from here?

I have come to a cul-de-sac. Something that doesn't happen very often (even though I do actually live in a cul-de-sac, however, this is a metaphorical cul-de-sac, but you knew that already). I usually do find a way of keeping on, but recently this has been getting more difficult by the day. This has possibly come at the same time as waking daily with a pounding headache I don't know, but things are starting to lack a spark. This could also be a backlash after seeing The Pixies perform "Doolittle" at Brixton Academy, and knowing that nothing I can do will ever match such a stunning performance. It could also be due to the gaping (w)hole left in the wake of the death of Mr Stephen Gateley. If you are a band/musician/artist/mensch who can reignite my spark, please use the contact us button, with a box of matches.

18 September 2009

Abstinence & Sensibility live in London

A rare live gig by our very own Abstinence & Sensibility is like all your Xmouses at once.

And yes they are playing live at The Rag Factory, Brick Lane, London on Friday 25th September:

check here for all information:

Rag Factory

And now you know, make the effort and support them

16 September 2009

and on and on..

So where are we? I'd like to think we have come far since this began earlier this year, and when you look at the positives we faired better than most businesses. Maybe that's because we never aimed to make money, so it's no surprise we didn't and at least we never made losses. But let's have a look what we did.... We released some great records, produced a feature length film and had it premiered at an art gallery. Not many other record companies can boast such positive activity. Okay we were pretty much ignored by the local and national media and still have to fight for every download or sale. We still have to beg for audiences to tear themselves from their houses, but we have to remember that what we do is good: that's the bottom line. We are no different to those press darlings who seem to always grab headlines for doing very little, except they have a platform. Our music is no worse, it is just not endlessly playlisted. I do believe that it is repetition of music that makes it sell. When heard daily, even the worst song lodges into your subconscious and sooner or later you will hum it, and then because it is recognisable to you, you believe it is part of you somehow, then you feel you need it... then you buy it... then you stop listening... the record company is happy because it made money, the artist is not because the music is actually unlistenable and unsustainable, and worse their audience stops paying attention because there is no real appreciation and no loyalty to the brand. The music business is more like a conveyor belt than ever before (and it always has been one to a certain degree). We will not see writers grow and develop any more, just endless debut albums. Just remember that the world is more than a radio set, or a TV. They are controlled output and very badly produced at that. I think I just wanted to make a statement.. and that is: we are still here. We still are reaching a small audience and we are more focused because of that. Thanks to everyone involved

9 9 2009

DIE SON! DIE! at tHE pUBLIC Art Gallery tomorrow

9-9-09 a day that the UK and USA can agree on means the 9th of September. Maybe this is the reason the beAtles decided to reissue their back catalogue: no confusion over month and date there. Still do we really need another repackaging exercise by the remaining fab two? No. Luckily we here at elementary recordings are working on new material and brighter more exciting things than dusting off the mop tops. Tomorrow sees the premier of Miss Halliwell's DIE SON DIE at the Public art gallery in West Bromwich. It starts at 8:15pm. Tickets are still available so contact us to reserve a £3 seat, or just turn up and pay £5 on the door. Lucky attendees will receive a free E.REX sampler, as long as they promise to listen to it all. Those that say they won't listen to it will be charged £20 per copy, so remember your ears are made for listening, not just hearing.

Caps has unveiled that his next album will be called The Avenger - a 10 track spectacular. We are just waiting for clearance from our good friends at KASSNER ASSOCIATED PUBLISHERS LTD, to use the words: "You really got me going, you got me so I don't know what I'm doing" by Ray Davies, before they sue our asses off. Also our horizons have now broadened to include Brazil with our good friend Marco Stecz of Ultimo Volume Radio in Curitiba, flying the E.REX flag, from below the equator. We will await our invitations to Rio in the forthcoming months I hope. See you in West Bromwich tomorrow at 8pm. Email us if you need directions, or search t'internet for The Public.

24 August 2009

A week of activity

elementary recordings has been busy this week:

1. Miss Halliwell released their debut album DIE SON DIE. It was an official release where all sales counted towards the album chart. The earlist signs are that DIE SON DIE is number one all over the world. However, the votes are still being counted. 2. Caps has recorded a bunch of new songs, which he is sending to E.REX HQ. We are hoping to release a new ep or mini-album in the Autumn (that is fall to people in the Americas) 3. Boat To Row is currently on a national tour to promote his Young and Quirky EP, he has also been in the studio recording new material. We will release this later in the year. 4. The premier of Miss Halliwell's full-length motion picture DIE SON DIE will be at The Public art gallery in West Bromwich on 10 September 2009. Tickets are selling fast, so email us today to reserve your seat. 5. E.REX founder member a.neilson has been seen riding around his Audnam home on a black Triumph Bonneville. He has denied this is a mid-life crisis and is just his way of supporting British industry.

Keep supporting us and we will not let you down.

15 August 2009

Look at our web log

elementary recordings has it's own bee log. It's a place like this, but I have to admit, it is has a B-bonny look.

Have a look, and comment, just because you can:

BEE-LOG FOR EdotREX

14 August 2009

To our fans in Australia we say hello, to Mr Les Paul we say goodbye.

elementary recordings is now global, officially. Orders for our music are now coming from the other side of the world in wonderful Australia. Information from our digital distributors at Routenote also shows sales from Europe and the USA, but this is a first to be making a noise down under. Welcome!

On a more unhappy note, yesterday the inventor of the solid body electric guitar, Les Paul died aged 94. He also pioneered the first multi-track recording studio, without which, the progression in music recording and production would never have happened: he is literally the father of modern music. I have dreamed of his guitar (Gibson named the guitar he invented after him) since a young boy and it took me until only very recently to be able to own one (well actually two). Originally inspired by guitarists like Mick Ronson and Marc Bolan who used the Les Paul, I have been in love with the instrument ever since. So goodbye Les, you were one of the true good guys, who had vision and talent in spades. You are already missed.

4 August 2009

"DIE SON! DIE!" by Miss Halliwell is available for pre-order now

If you go here you can pre-order the DVD/CD double disc limited edition version of the film/album.

It has a 10 track CD and a 90 minute DVD full-length film, which also has extra content. It is a vision of beauty.

Buy it now from our sisters at Shabby Records.

On 17-8-09, you can also download it via iTunes, but you knew that already.

It is an official release, so please show your support, it would be a dream come true to get this work of genius into some chart.

It is due its place in history.

DIE SON! DIE! - The motion picture

And don't forget:

The film will receive its official premier at the one and only art gallery in West Bromwich: The Public, on 10-9-09

If you are interested in attending please contact us to reserve a seat. Tickets are £3.00 each, or £5.00 on the night. It will be a sellout as Miss Halliwell will also be performing live during the screening. Tickets are selling fast, so get in touch now to reserve your place.

21 July 2009 The E.REX store is upgraded

A big thank you to Lisa who has pointed out the flaw in the E.REX store. I have now corrected the email message that is sent after an order is made, which clearly defines the transaction. Until now, things were a little vague and I apologise for this. If anyone has any problems with any aspect of the site please contact me and let me know. We are human beings here afer all. Thanks again Lisa for getting in touch.

16 July 2009

"DIE SON! DIE!" by Miss Halliwell is finished. Trailer online now.

The feature film is complete and currently being readied for its official release on 17-8-09.

Watch the trailer now by going here DSD Trailer

The film will receive its official premier at the one and only art gallery in West Bromwich: The Public, on 10-9-09

If you are interested in attending please contact us to reserve a seat. Tickets are £3.00 each, or £5.00 on the night. It will be a sellout as Miss Halliwell will also be performing live during the screening.

You will be able to buy a special DVD/CD edition of the album, which includes the film and a separate audio CD. You can also just download the album via a special pre-release from late July/early August, which will include artwork and the video for 'Amblecote'. This will be available from iTunes as well as a host of other sites.

Watch out for press and radio announcements as we get closer to the release date. The Black Country is buzzing with excitement.

18 June 2009

Boat To Row now on iTunes

The debut ep "The Young and Quirky" is out now for download, get it here:

BUY Boat To Row ep on iTunes

and beautifully packaged hard copy here:

The E.REX Store

10 June 2009

Barry's Attic now on iTunes

Their debut ep is now available for download from Apple's store. Go here and open your hearts and wallets.

BUY Voices All Clear Now ep

2 June 2009

elementary recordings release Boat To Row and Barry's Attic on CD

The two eps by our newest artists, Boat To Row and Barry's Attic are now available from here: Voices All Clear Now by Barry's Attic

The Young and Quirky ep by Boat To Row

They will also shortly be available as a download from iTunes and we will update you when that happens. Please check out the E.REX store for details of getting one in your hand today.

1 June 2009

Miss Halliwell's feature length "DIE SON! DIE!" film is almost with us.

"Die Son! Die!" by Miss Halliwell has a release date of August 17th. The film on DVD and the album on CD will be available from here. If you just want the music, then you will be able to download the album from iTunes. More information will be available nearer the time, but put that date into your diary. It is likely to be a limited pressing and if you miss out your grandchildren will never forgive you, as this will be their inheritence. Here is a still from the film, which will be used for the iTunes cover:

20 May 2009

The legendary Tom Robinson describes elementary recordings as a "rare, if not unique record label". High praise indeed from the presenter of the BBC Radio 6 show 'Introducing..'. Thanks for coming down and checking out the site Tom. Maybe you could buy something next time.

14 May 2009

We are proud and excited to announce one of our artists, Caps, will be appearing on national radio. Tom Robinson's BBC Radio 6 show 'Introducing..' will be playing "Over + Over" by Caps on Sunday night/Monday morning 17/18 May. There is also a faux introduction by yours truly as if I am live on air talking to Tom.. but it is all light and mirrors and recorded well in advance in case I go crazy with excitement. The lovely production team at Introducing have also agreed to plug elementary recordings to within an inch of its life, so be prepared for the floodgates to open.

13 May 2009

"And Now.." The Mekano Set is now available on iTunes and here. Go listen and buy now:

And Now.. on iTunes

This is what they say about it:

"Seedily attractive, smooth, impressively catchy, seething power..." Mick Mercer.

"The Mekano Set have a talent for creating exciting electronic rock fields with edges, a noisy touch and haunting atmospheres; it's like velvety, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate ice cream with highly crispy candy splinters." Virus Magazine.

"Snaking guitars and synths that make me think of swirling mists and sonic cathedrals. Well, maybe not sonic cathedrals. I gather they're banned under the music journalists' Geneva Convention. Still, if this is shoegazing, you'll find me gladly staring at my laces any time this is playing. Definitely recommended for those long, dark nights or any time you just want to drown in the atmosphere." The Mag

4 May 2009

Music for Miss Halliwell's debut album "Die Son! Die!" is hear/hare/here:

The final mastering of Miss Halliwell's full-length album is now complete and available for you to listen with your ears. Go here now:

Die Son Die music

The album will be available in the summer as download, DVD disc and disc of the compact variety. It will be released simultaneously with the film that accompanies it. It will be the single most memorable event in history; I guarantee it. Don't say I didn't tell you.

1 May 2009

elementary recordings now on e-music

We are now selling music through the subscription download store e-music. If you like to pay up front and get maximum downloads for your rapidly depreciating pound, go here:

emusic superstore

There are a number of our releases on there (j j: caps; minnie; miss h are the ones I happened across whilst buzzing around there), the rest will get there in the end I am sure.

I will take this opportunity to apologise to The Mekano Set and all their worshippers, "And now.." is still not on iTunes. I am chasing it daily and have been told it will be available imminently. It will be worth the wait (in gold).

26 April 2009

Barry's Attic and Boat to Row sign to elementary recordings (that's us)

elementary recordings announce that their family has grown to accommodate a further two incredible Midlands-based bands.

Boat To Row based in Nuneaton have agreed terms and we are just waiting on a late fitness test (that's E.REX's fitness, not Mike's)

and

Barry's Attic from the heart of the Black Country have signed and are currently recording new material for a May release.

I have to say this label has the best talent of any others in the world, indie or major, we wipe the floor with the competition.

18 April 2009

Miss Halliwell Tour announced

Miss Halliwell will be embarking on a spring/summer tour in 2009. The dates are as follows:

8 May 2009 The Victoria - Birmingham, Midlands 24 Jul 2009 Katie Fitzgerald’s - Stourbridge, Midlands 31 Jul 2009 The Railway - Evesham 5 Sep 2009 The Go! Club (Old Wharf) - Digbeth, Birmingham, Midlands 60 minute MISS HALLIWELL Show to launch their full-length feature film "Die Son! Die!" + support: The Mekano Set and Visual Audio Replicant

15 April 2009

neilson on iTunes

alan_neilson's full length album "bear_bare" is released on iTunes. Of course it was always available right here at the E.REX store, but if you like your music in ones and zeros go to the Roster for the links necessary to give you download capability.

The release, coming as it does on the 20th anniversary of those that lost their lives at Hillsborough, leaves neilson wishing to add his support to the Justice campaign. The root of the problem that caused the tradegy has to be the decade of Thatcherism that preceded it. Under that Government the working class had been demonised to a point where the police and officials treated paying spectators like criminals: the football fans who were crushed to death that day in 1989 were seen as troublemakers who needing containing... they were seen as ticket receipts and profits... they are now seen as an embarrassment because they are an indication of what happens when human beings stop looking on each other as human beings. elementary recordings is not a political label, but each and everyone of us is a mensch of the highest order. There needs to be more of us about I think.

9 April 2009

caps now released on iTunes

Navigate to the Roster to find caps' links to iTunes. His two mini-albums, Radiator and Kerplunk are there in all their beauty.

8 April 2009

more elementary artists released on iTunes

Please check the artist's details via the Roster to find links to iTunes. We have released another 3 great pieces of work:

Miss Halliwell - Predateoralbumlaunchparty Jo Staples - Playing Up The Mallory Heart - Selected Tales From the Sanitorium _____________________________________________ The Mekano Set's "And Now..."; alan neilson's "bear_bare"; and caps' "Radiator" and "Kerplunk" are due to be released after Easter... like some kind of elementary resurrection.

So go and visit the iTunes store now and listen. Don't be shy, buy something; we don't bite.. we are your friends. Remember we are trying to save you from the vacuum that is contemporary life. And when you have had a good listen come back here and tell us what you think: there is a link on the home page for you to contact us. It is easy. And now you're feeling whole, go back and buy some more, and then tell your friends, and then make sure your friends tell their friends.. I want someone I don't know to tell me about these albums... only then will I know you have done your job correctly.

7 April 2009

elementary artists tour date for your diary

Miss Halliwell and The Mekano Set to play The Old Wharf, Digbeth, Birmingham on 5th September 2009.

27 March 2009

elementary artists are released on iTunes.

Check the roster for links to new releases by:

Miss Halliwell

Abstinence & Sensibility

j j brierley

caps is also up there, but in the wrong place. Bear with us while we get him in his rightful position. I will upload the link when he has found his spot.

More releases are imminent, please check back often and support the artists here.

6 March 2009

Miss Halliwell complete the filming for their full-length feature film "Die Son! Die!". Editing now begins at elementary films HQ, with a release date for the film in the summer of 2009.

Check Die Son Die taste it for a taster of what is to come.

4 March 2009

Minnie Allen's ep "Life Gets Tedious?" is released on iTunes. See artist page in The Roster for link.

Charles Allen's full length album "The Life and Times of Charles A Allen" is released on iTunes. See artist page in The Roster for link.

1 March 2009

Elementary Productions and Elementary Recordings goes dot co dot uk

30 Jan 2010

c YOU en Tee ARCHIVE

A list of c u n t s (not C.u.n.T.'s)

29/03/2009

As it is now 2009 and the joy of unwrapping a new year is well and truly gone; as I am now beginning my 40th circumnavigation of our sun; now I have considered the good, the bad and the useless with a clear unbiased mind, I can begin my list of current TV celebraties who I believe to be the scum of humanity. I believe these people to contribute nothing to our culture but a stale stench, however, unlike other rotting garbage and manure-like necessities that add nutrients to the soil when they degrade, these vacant vessels only pollute. Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe these people are evil, and moreover I am certain they do not wish anyone harm, and I myself do not wish them harm (nor do I wish anyone to cause them harm). I do not think for a minute they are wrong-doers in the sense they do not kill or maim. What disgusts me beyond belief is their ability to talk shit and do so in such a way that many people believe their shit to be good sense. I guess TV and radio legitimise these arseholes to a degree, because we have elevated these turds to a position where they reach a wide audience, so it appears to all but the sharpest minds that those with the biggest audience must talk the most sense. Anyway here is the list. Feel free to let me know whether you agree or would like to add to it... I know this list is far from exhaustive, it is just a result of watching TV for a period of 7 days: 1. James May 2. Jeremy Clarkson 3. Al Murray 4. Jamie Oliver 5. Alan Davies 6. Mike Bushell (BBC sports presenter) 7. Chris Moyles 8. Chris Martin 9. James Martin 10. Jonathon Ross

2008 is coming to an end

02/11/2008

So it is now November. Time flies between visits here doesn't it. And judging by the visit counter, it is only me that looks in to make sure everything is still here. No problem with that but it would be nice to have someone else but me casting an eye over the great stuff here. Anyway, it has been a good year. I have been busy making videos for musicians and collecting footage for a documentary called "Tales of a Black Country". I have met up with some great bands, some good bands, some wanker bands and a band that may have saved us from the grim X Factor led over-commercialised quagmire the UK now finds itself... a talent contest is a money maker on any level and it does not mean that because the audience has a vote that it means anything: the winner is not necessarily good and the winner is also certainly not the person who got the most votes (remember Gore vs Bush in Florida 2000? The winner is whoever they say is the winner). Anyhoo - the band, that band is Miss Halliwell and what a fine bunch of cunts they are. We are currently putting together visuals and audio for a feature length film/album called "Die Son! Die!", which is a live album and filmed live concert with intermingled storyline, art and magic. For a debut album, this is light years before anyone else and I am proud to be a part of it. It is due to be finished in the summer of 2009, so don't piss your pants yet... be patient, it will be worth it. Til then, have a merry xmouse. Al

It's been a while

27/01/2008

After an initial burst of energy when the site first kicked off, there has been the inevitable lull in activity. It takes a big push to get something off the ground and continuous forward momentum to keep it moving (especially when traveling uphill). I hadn't the energy or the motivation to do this... until a day like today. A day when you wake up at 5.00am and actually get up because you are awake. A day when instead of writing meaningless bulletins on myspace that no one reads anyway, I thought I would update the CUnt website. I have added and removed images; updated the links to friends and supporters; added more text on the Homepage; and generally had a good old tidy up. If this is your first time or you've not been for a while, have a look around here and then click on the links to everyone else... I am not kidding, nothing associated with this site is bad. It is all exciting and inventive, and will make you want more and want to do more yourself. And when you've finished looking, tell everyone you know to do the same. The internet is a great tool, but as with so many things, it ends up appealing to and being aimed at the lowest common denominator... so most searched and most viewed sites end up being porn, car accidents, reality TV shows, girls eating their own faeces, celebrities with no knickers on, etc etc., ad nauseam. I won't promise that if you tell 20 friends that something amazing will happen to you in the next few days, or that if you don't something terrible will happen, because the world does not work that way. I just think you will like it. OKay, so the sun is rising now. It is time to go. Remember to email the site with any contributions; it will take more than my hairy arse to push this fucker up the hill, and all help is gratefully received. words by Al (Head Cunt)

Create A CUNT Acronym

24/06/2007

I welcome all you beautiful readers and contributors out there to add to the list that follows. All additions will be gratefully receives and posted. Here are a few to get you going............................................Cleverly Undermining National Thinking.............Creatively Usurping Nonessential Television................Call Unnecessary Novels Trash...................Carry Unusually Newfangled Tools.............................................and more....?

Smoking or non-smoking...

08/06/2007

With all this talk of smoking, what the impending ban and everything (in the UK for our lovely distance cunts), I have to admit that I have never thought about smoking so much before. In the past, I wouldn't give it a second thought, but now, the word 'SMOKING' is everywhere (followed by 'BAN', or preceded by 'NO' obviously), but the thing is, the more they talk about it and tell me I can't do it, the more I want to. Now as you know, I am partial to a Nat Sherman's Black and Gold, every Christmas or when I see the CrackerDogs, but now I feel an irresistable urge to smoke a packet a day. That's the problem you see (and America learned this during prohibition) if you ban something, it suddenly turns into something dangerous and cool, and you watch, more people will be doing it than ever. Maybe this is a clever advertising campaign by the government and the cigarette companies, because after all more sales means more taxes. I thought I would share that little something with you all.

Timothy Parkes joins the fight

04/06/2007

Yes the CUnt gets bigger by the day. We have people befriending us on myspace day by day and art being beamed into us as well. The genius that is Timothy Parkes has emailed a beautiful picture which is on HomeCunt page, please enjoy and then whisk yourself to his myspace page and listen to his beautiful songs. More power to us CUnts.

After a week of Cunt

02/06/2007

Well we had a good start didn't we? There was much activity and having reached a kind of orgasmic high, we plateaued; much like the calm after sex, when you lie holding your lover tightly to your chest. And then there was a quiet lull and a period of dull inactivity that followed. ah well, this is a long term project after all and it will grow and grow over many cunturies. So this week we have lovely art from our friend and brother Mr Jai J Brierley. You can find his pictures on Home Cunt and also Pictures of Cunts, shortly we will be having some text from the man as well. Isn't it glorious when we all share our thoughts... soon we will not need to turn on a TV as all our entertainment will stream out of our own minds. Entertaining ourselves, what a quaint and old fashioned idea!

And on the second day

28/05/2007

Mr Taylor sends forth image of beauty. Please check out the Pictures page and feel free to send more. DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!

The first day of CUnt

27/05/2007

So here we are on a website that has a domain name of xxxxx, but is really the home of the Creative Underground Nurturing Talent. Thanks to Mr Neilson for donating his website megabytes to allow us to exist, and damn him for not having enough html knowledge to change the fuckin domain name so it actually reads CUNT. Please feel free to use this space as you feel fit, but please do not waste it. I want this to be home to independent art, I want original contributions, new and interesting ideas that are not negatively influenced by the onslaught of conventional media.... TV, radio, literature and magazines are of no use to us anymore and can simply be ignored. We are here to entertain ourselves. This site is the piano in the parlour, the singsong around a log fire, the band playing in a smoky backroom bar in the middle of nowhere, the unpublished manuscript. Let us share in each other's beauty.

Endorsements

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Endorsements and Testimonials

THE FOLLOWING EMAIL IS FROM TOM PHILLIPS, ARTIST AND CREATER OF 'A HUMUMENT - A Treated Victorian Novel' (check out www.tomphillips.co.uk/humument/) AFTER HE CHECKED OUT OUR IMAGES (inspired... copied.. call it what you will, but Tom is a big hero of mine and imitation is the highest form of flattery).

OUR IMAGES WERE CREATED IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY (USING AN ORIGINAL BOOK AND PAINTING OUT WORDS TO REVEAL OTHER MEANINGS WITHIN THE TEXT). OUR BOOK WAS 'THE WABASH FACTOR' by E V CUNNINGHAM (SOME OF THE AUTHOR'S NAME AND TITLE WERE PAINTED OUT TO REVEAL THE NEW AUTHOR "V CUNNING" AND THE NEW TITLE "THE BASH ACTOR").

HERE'S WHAT TOM SAID:

----- Original Message ----- From: "Tom Phillips"

To:

Sent: Friday, May 26, 2006 8:27 AM

flattered by your versions of the pages and you have a great title

v cunning in all respects

all best wishes

tp

DAMO OF The Frames (filmmakers for the 21st century) TALKING ABOUT ALAN NEILSON'S ACOUSTIC PUNK SONGS 'LINES' AND 'BAGMAN':

"sounds like jimi hendrix beating and biting pete townsend to a pulp...then giving him a little kiss for his troubles!"

MARTIN TAYLOR OF THE MEKANO SET, CRACKERDOG AND MILK, when describing elementary recordings' release of distorted acoustic feedback:

"Like a peeled plumb, potentially bad idea in theory, but tastes great!"

TENDER THOUGHTS FROM OUR AMERICAN SISTER C.U.n.t.:

Dear Al, You are among a few of the true blue's that I have the pleasure of knowing who can communicate the things that I find entirely important.

Does that make sense?

Hmmm.. It's just great to know that you are out there. I feel the same way about that wonderful little lot over there in England.

I highly look forward to group hugs. :)

Thanks for being there.

X A

JAI J BRIERLEY DISCUSSING THE SUBTLETIES OF Mr a neilson's 'BAGMAN':

"it's certainly raw and immediate"

UNBIASED EMOTIONS FROM THE MEKANO SET'S MILK:

I just want to say that I fucking love you.

FROM JUSTIN LEE COLLINS AFTER OUR REQUEST HE WEARS A CUNT TEE-SHIRT:

I'd be happy to recieve a T-Shirt mate, send it to my associate, medium would be killer, I like them tight!! ;)

I'll try and sport it

JLC

PRAISE ENOUGH FROM THE DEEPLY HUGABLE BRISTOLIAN.

However, even years down the line, Mr Collins has still yet to be seen wearing the CUNT T-shirt and we therefore cast mighty aspersions on his desire to stand shoulder to shoulder with his brothers and sisters... maybe because we never get on the telly and are therefore not stepping stones to better things, Mr Justin Lee Collins feels us unworthy bedfellows.

Get a haircut hippy.

ADDITIONAL: INTERESTING TO SEE THAT THIS STALKER FREAK HAS BEEN CONVICTED OF VERY NASTY THINGS IN 2012 (5 YEARS ON FROM THE ABOVE ENTRY)...”WOULD BE KILLER” SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIS ACTUAL TEE-SHIRT. THE EVIL SHIT.


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