All of my fears have been confirmed. For a few days my mind has been in a daze as I question every decision I made about every part of the arrangements for the Rockets In the Trees' songs. I look at every single part and note I have recorded over the last 12 months and just think: ’It is not good enough.’
Kevan and I visited another studio last week and were faced with some positives and more reality checks. This time the arrangements were put under the spotlight from studio owner Barry’s fresh ears, who felt that the songs weren’t ready to be mixed without having a rethink about how the song’s parts were arranged. He was approaching this from a point of view of encouraging listeners to maintain a constant interest, if hearing them for the first time… something I hadn’t focussed on, as throughout the writing and arranging process I deliberately wanted the songs to be slightly unconventional (ie. having no standard verse-chorus-middle eight-structure). However, Barry asked the all important question about whether we actually wanted other people to listen to these songs, or were they just for ourselves? This concept does get lost when you are in the middle of a project, but ultimately I do want other people to enjoy what has been created here... I want an audience, without question. And so the question is, do I make certain allowances for them, or just remain pig-headed and stick to how the songs first played in my head?
The cold hard truth of it, is that to appeal to an audience, you have to help them out by allowing the song to flow and guide them from part to part, from verse to chorus or whatever and not have instances of shock and surprise too often, don’t drag out sections, and definitely have melodic hooks for people to whistle in the street, or singalong to. I guess my problem is that as much as I love a good pop song, I also love more, albums like Talk Talk’s ‘Laughing Stock’, which is full of melodic hooks but you have to work to find them (and they may only happen once). As a listener, personally I don’t want to be spoon-fed, I want to be surprised or jolted with a change in time signature or key, or lack of chorus, or with stop starts. In fact ‘Focussing the Light’ was picked up for exactly that, and Kevan pointed out that Steve Harley’s ‘Come Up and See Me’ was a massive hit and is still played today and features an even more abrupt stop start arrangement. I agreed but later thought that no one ever did this in an arrangement successfully again!
Barry played through the opening minute of ‘What If/What Next?’ and was very complimentary about the first minute, particularly my vocals, but then pointed out that the song loses energy at the line “Help me get up off the floor, so I can complete my role,” where the melody changes. He suggested that if there is a drop in dynamics there, it needs to pick up again after a couple of bars, and as it doesn’t and it carries on at the lower level for another minute or so, he had totally lost interest, missing the part later when the dynamics do eventually kick in on the last verse. As much as I hate the thought of pandering to an audience whose attention span is less than a minute, I understand that a compromise has to be reached to satisfy both artist and listener.
I have often said that a part of the reason we like certain songs is repetition. Repetition both within the song itself (the musical hooks, chorus etc) and with repeated listening. I have come to love and accept all the problems inherent with these arrangements because I have heard them thousands of times, the same way when a new release by an established artist comes out, the record company pays to have it played over and over by radio stations; they know that hearing that song every morning will make it memorable, even if it wasn’t on the first listen. Even those songs you initially hate, after a while become accepted in your brain because they are recognisable after dozens of listens. So would my songs work if they are heard often enough by an audience? Maybe, but the chance of that happening is slim when most listeners want immediate satisfaction or they hit the skip button as soon as their interest wanes. In light of that, I do take on board the advice of those working in the industry when they say that something is not right.
It is funny when someone very specifically points out where there may be issues with a song (rather than saying ‘I’m not sure the drums are working’). When Barry said – ‘That bar there is where it falls down,’ it was like listening to the song again for the first time. That kind of specifics can be fixed I believe, rather than the vagueness of some responses, where you can’t quite recognise an issue because it is only opinion or feeling. I remember a sketch on ‘That Mitchell and Webb Look’ in which writers/artists are told to alter things in their work, and the catchphrase was along the lines of: “We like it, but can you make it slightly different… like that, but not that... this, but not this, unless... yes that, but obviously not that.” I sometimes would prefer being told ‘I just don’t like it’ rather than being told I should try and sound different, or it would work if it sounded more like Nick Drake for example (who although a great artist only became recognised years after he died).
The other major issue is the quality of the recordings and samples I have used on these songs. Relying on sampled instruments is obviously about not being able to have real life musicians playing the parts, or afford the studio time to record them. It is a necessary evil and everyone uses them throughout the industry. But I guess because my arrangements are mainly built up on the use of ‘real’ instruments (violin, cello, trumpet, oboe, flute, accordion etc) played via a synth keyboard, the lack of natural articulation you get from a player, as well as the actual true sound of a recorded instrument, is stark. Barry played us a song he had recorded with real piano, violin and cello, and the feel and sound of it was so beautiful, it felt like a dagger in my stomach... the fiddle melody from ‘Flares From the Sun’ sounded dismal in comparison.
And this is where we are now. After a year of working out arrangements and recording dozens and dozens of parts, and then editing and correcting them, re-recording instruments, adding harmony backing vocals, amending arrangements, recording different versions and arrangements etc, we have a collection of recordings that are simply not good enough. That took me a while to accept, believe me. And yes, I spent some time arguing to myself that everyone else is wrong and my vision is the absolute best and only possible way for these songs to go. My record collection is full of artists who remained single minded and followed their own path, for good and bad (as in some never found an audience at all, but were at least true to themselves). The choice is then of course, do I stay fixed to my beliefs, or welcome in the advice to start again?
My desire is to make the best possible sounding album I can and if that means starting again, then so be it. I will play through the songs and work out the best way forward. Kevan and I will then have to decide how we move on from here, accepting the fact that home studios will never produce the kind of results or quality that we had maybe naively hoped it would.
And here was I thinking that 2020 could not be any more of a head f**k than it already was… I can’t shake the thought that this year has been nothing more than a learning process and nothing is even close to being completed. And moreover, that my skills are not perhaps what I thought they were. I have spoken before about the importance of receiving feedback from those outside of your immediate friends and family (which is probably why I have not asked many people about this project), but I had honestly thought that each decision I took was the best way… and it may be that I am wrong and I am just not that good. Can this be fixed? Can I fix it, or does it need more skilful musicians now? Does it need a totally new producer? I remember a year ago wanting to hand the project over to Kevan after I had finished composing the songs and being given the project straight back; I knew it was going to be a long, hard, unforgiving and lonely road to walk down and I was absolutely right – it has had a major detrimental impact of my mental health, and I have seriously pissed off close friends and family. So do I need this again throughout 2021? I don’t know. I definitely want to see this project through to its completion, and although I would prefer taking a less hands-on role, I have already started working out a different arrangement for ‘What If/What Next?’ 'Be Brave' and ‘Focussing the Light’, so clearly I cannot help myself… even at the point things were at their bleakest. Like my spirit animal, the elephant, I have a very thick skin.
Comments